What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops