What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops