What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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