Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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bologna

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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