A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops