a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

And now a word from our sponsors

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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