Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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