How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

A chicken walked into the bar...

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

What do you call an amazing person Good

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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