What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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Do you want to hear a racist joke? I hate black people...

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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