So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

my penis

Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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