So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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