To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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