I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops