What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

Burp

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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