How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

What did billy get after sex? Herpes

Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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