If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Guess what What

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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