Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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