Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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