Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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