Knock Knock The guy opens the door

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

whats worse than failing your maths test?

what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...