A fat guy!

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops