Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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