Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops