What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...