Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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it

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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