What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Obama

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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kkkk

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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