"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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