An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

How do you make a man cry? you torture him

Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

Mom says my name I reply Coming.

What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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