A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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c======3

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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knock knock

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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