what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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