Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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