Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969 i like potatos 696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...