have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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