9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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