how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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i hate non minorities!

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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