I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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