A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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What's the new green? Green

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops