A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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