A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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