I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

Knock knock... Home invasion

Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

whats worst then dieng in a videogame

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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