How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops