What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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school homewrok

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops