Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops