What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what is big and can make things come out? a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

star wars kid

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

No soup for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops