What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

womens rights.

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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