Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What page are you on The gay page.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than dieing? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Tucker Rivera

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops