Knock knock Fuck off!

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops