Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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