How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops