What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops