Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops