In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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the WNBA.

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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school homewrok

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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