How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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