Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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