My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

What is worse than torture? Not much.

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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