Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops