Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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being sober in a bar fight

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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