I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Puns are terrible. I love them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops